One of the issues often talk about humanity throughout history is what happiness is – and how to be happy in your life?
What if I tell you that not all people appreciate and want happiness and joy? Probably now you raise one eyebrow (or two) and ask yourself: “Is it?”.
Some people do not want to be happy – but want to feel a sense of certainty and safe.
This is the reason that some will happily do something that would hurt regular basis because they are afraid that they will fail to preserve the happiness over time – and people are hurting even the values that are important to them just to meet the basic needs of their human.
For some people – “If you are happy – then you are not meaningful in life” because you do not meet the complexity of life.
These kind of people do not want to be excited and happy. They prefer to fill the basic need of human being meaningful and important to understand the complexity of life that makes them feel that way.
Happiness and joy – are values and uncertainty – is needed.
People are hurting their values - to meet their basic needs.
Let me do a short exercise: Take a pen and paper and you follow the instructions:
Think about the area of your life you are happy about. Maybe happiness is a word too much for you then think about the area you want and provided him life and write it at the top.
The second step is you answer the question: Why are you happy and field / subject as it is in your life? And write the reasons why you are happy with it.
Now think about this area of your life you are not happy with your life and write it on the page. Followed – Get on writing the reasons why you are not satisfied with the realm / person / subject of this life.
Did you know that there is a formula for happiness?
The formula for happiness is a situation where our living conditions are the same beliefs that we have about how it’s supposed to be, and the rules and regulations of the way we see things.
In other words ~ when there is a discrepancy between our living conditions and beliefs and perception we have about “how it should be” – then experience a state of great joy or happiness. On the other hand, in a situation where our living conditions are not equal (identical) to how we think life should be – then we experience pain, which is an integral part of our lives.
But what if you change your living conditions? Be happy, is not it?
The question is – how to do it – here’s the formula suffering – when we suffer -
Some people say: “I never suffered / a.’m Strong / e, there is suffering in my life.
Happened to you once you felt that this day will never stop? Happened to you once you’ve experienced pain that is beyond what you can bear? It’s part of life for all of us, it’s part of our growth and development. This happens most often in cases of anger or frustration from some point in life you that you do not know how to solve.
So where does this suffering comes?
Suffering takes place in a situation where your living conditions are equal, the same beliefs and your principles there is something else involved: If in addition you believe that you have no control to change it, you believe you are helpless. That external force certain – the government, God, husband or wife, brothers or sisters of your work or your boss – something or someone that you can not control it – so you can not improve the situation and make it better, you can not turn your life life would like them. This belief, by the way, is an illusion. And you’re probably saying to yourself right now: “Yes, yes Tamara, how you say that? Mean positive thinking and optimism?”.
And I tell you – Absolutely not.
It is known that we can not control all the events in our lives but we can control what we say about what happened, the meaning we give to the situation.
And so you can do it, you need to understand the situation of pain or if you experience increased pain suffered it ~ you only have three options:
Option one – blame something – that the way to stop our pain or our suffering is to say: “Here is the reason for my pain and my suffering and it is not …… what – my fault.’s Not my fault. The first thing we tend to do is to blame Events. “you know … something happened when we were kids, or last week or last month …” something that is not you, which is the source and the reason for this problem. greatest thing in events is that they do not interfere Tale “and make you your guilty or wrong. occasions no sound. then it is easy to blame events in our lives., and once we accuse events – it makes us feel equal or feel that something is wrong with us that we’re headed again our focus – and then put the focus on something else that gets us the feeling short-term deterioration.
The second option – what people do is blame other people: “It’s because my parents being so bad when I was 10,” and so forth. Third option – is, of course, people blame themselves: “It’s my fault, I’m lazy / home” or “I do not care “or” I’m a bad person “or” story “other humans invent. problem with the allegation is that a black hole. you will never change your life as you experience, on STATE of the blame. however, be responsible – it is quite different from being guilty.
Then there are other two options, I believe they are real possibilities that will change your life:
If your living conditions are not the same beliefs and the way you believe they should be then two options available are -
Change the terms of your life or change your expectations.
It sounds reasonable -
I can say so myself, until the age of 28, I lived in complete denial: I lived like most people live their lives: I survived. Being with a past “heavy” events are not simple, they left a mark on my life: I went through a difficult childhood filled with violence and emotional abuse, I graduated, got married and suffered from abuse and violence towards me again, I got divorced, I graduated cum laude with a BA in education and more. Always testified at myself “like a cat – landing on all fours., I am strong and survives”, only that it was a bunch of nonsense. Interior emo life of a victim, a man accuses his life story terrible especially my mother ruined my life and so forth. Above all emo life survival wearing every step I blame myself and go frightened “the drops” of life. Was 28 I decided to go training. soon found myself let go and release all the anger, frustration and guilt I had about all the events, the people and for myself and bring this place – responsibility.
I made a long journey of personal development, where I say goodbye to pain and suffering – and bring into life the joy of my natural life and a lot of moments of happiness